Minimalist posters explain complex philosophical concepts with basic shapes
(via w00ton)Source: geniscarreras.com
Step 1: Get to know them both. You’re a nice guy, why wouldn’t they like you?you’ve got shared interests, and he’s already got the girl. You’re no threat (yet).
Step 2: Get her away from her boyfriend. Give her a job doing something sketchy (robbery, drug manufacture, gunrunning, etc) that you can exclude her boyfriend from for “confidentiality reasons.” Most likely he wont think twice since he knows jealousy is not attractive to women. Bonus points if whatever sketchy business you’re getting her involved in is something the boyfriend is super interested in.
Step 3: Just wait. She spends more time with you than with her boyfriend now, so just wait for her to get bored of hanging out with him after work. She’ll break it off on her own and be single soon enough.
Optional Step 4: Secretly enjoy how sad and angry he is that he can’t legitimately be sad or angry because this whole thing was her choice, and you just happened to be conveniently placed to benefit from the whole turn of events. Don’t share this step with the girl in question. She’s innocent of the whole thing, remember?
At a loss for what to say you drop your cigarette on the ground, avoiding eye contact with her. She doesn’t like it, but you try not to care. You stare at the ground, listening to the music to your back pulsing like your heart, up and down, up and down. For a second your heart beats in your ears louder than the music, but then she says it.
“So, I guess I’ll see you around.”
She is glowing, and before her smile can peek through her pursed lips she turns around and heads down the street. A last whiff of her peachy perfume reaches you, and you can’t hear the music anymore. She blends into a group of drunks stumbling their way down 5th avenue. You lift your foot off the butt on the ground, seeing it thoroughly flattened against the sidewalk, and walk in through the doors behind you, letting the music drown out the beating in your ears.
You half-dance your way through the darkness to the front and stand in front of the laser machine, hoping the red and green beams will cut through the fog in your head, but it just blinds you. You turn around, rubbing your eyes, and see a familiar face obscured by flashing lights and artificial fog. It smiles and opens its mouth, probably trying to tell you that you look like you’re crying, but all you hear is “it’s a shame you came here with someooooooone.” You realize that as much as her leaving you hurts, this music hurts more. You tap the shoulder belonging to the familiar face and point out to the door. It nods, and you go outside for another smoke.
The face is your friend, Harley.
“Didn’t expect to see you out here tonight. Don’t you have that stats final tomorrow?” He asks, fiddling in his pocket for something.
“Don’t you have that stats finals tomorrow, too?” His face seems to say that he forgot about it, but his smile says he didn’t.
“The girlfriend got me the test a couple of days ago. Don’t ask how. Anyway, I memorized the order of answers. I’m not worried.”
“Eh.” You reach into your pack of smokes, pop one into your mouth, and light it. You exhale after a long drag and the smoke wafts out of your mouth, slow and thick. Just the way she exhaled after ripping a bong.
“You seem out of it. Had a few too many drinks?”
“No. Alex just kinda, left me on the street… I could use a few too many drinks, I think.”
“Well it can’t be all that bad. You guys weren’t that serious, were you? It didn’t seem like it, anyway.” He was finished fumbling in his pocket and took out a little vial, toying with it between his fingers.
“I think everyone but me had that impression, unfortunately. What have you got there?”
“I think you know. You want some? It’ll make you happy, that’s for sure.”
“I’ve heard that one before…”
“I guess the only person who can convince you that it’ll make you happy is you,” he said, dumping a bump onto the flat, hairless part between his thumb and index finger.
“Yeah, I know, it’s just… I feel like I doomed it from the start, you know?”
“I don’t,” he said, snorting loudly as he vacuumed up the powder on his hand.
“It’s like, relationship karma. I slept with someone else’s girlfriend, and now she’s leaving me to go fuck someone else.”
“You don’t know that. I’ll bet you suck in some way you haven’t figured out yet. That’s probably what drove her away.”
“You know it.”
“But really, whatever it was, it’s just payback for what I’ve done.”
“Hey, you know what, maybe it’s not all about you. Maybe it’s about her, man.” His pupils were big, and he grabbed the air frantically: his way of asking for a cigarette. You pick one out of the pack and flip it to him. Somehow, he miraculously catches it in his mouth.
“Nice shot!” he says.
“What do you mean, though? About it being about her and not me?”
“Fuck, I dunno. Like, maybe she’s the one that fucked up. Maybe her next guy is gonna leave her to go enact some cosmic revenge on her transgressions with you. You don’t know just how karma works.”
“Me not knowing how shit works seems to be a common theme.”
“All I’m saying is maybe you don’t have to blame it all on yourself. She’s a person too. She’s got all kinds of thoughts all whizzing around in her head right now too. She just left you on the street, that’s not something she can just gloss over. You know her. I know her. She’s a caring person.”
“Yeah, I gue—“
“How do you know she’s not having the same thoughts as you right now? How do you know she’s not regretting it?”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“Yeah, or maybe I’m just really fucking high. Damn this shit comes on quick!” He throws his half-smoked stoge into the street, pats you on the shoulder, and turns back into the club.
You finish your cigarette and squeeze it out on the ground. You look down to stomp out the ash and see the butt from just a few minutes ago, crushed into the sidewalk. You toss your most current butt into a nearby trashcan and walk away from the music and Harley and the street that she dumped you on. And all the while you’re thinking that maybe it was just you being too fucking high to make it last.
Boy likes Girl.
Girl seems to like Boy,
but only when she’s drunk.
Boy finally realizes this, and moves on.
Well, he tries to.